It seems things have leveled out a little. Ryker has good days and bad days - the more active he is, the worse his knee swelling gets. I try to limit him to twenty minute increments of activity and then make him sit down and rest. The doctor said to let him limit himself but he doesn't understand cause and effect! He doesn't understand that just because it doesn't hurt right now doesn't mean it won't hurt later! It's heartbreaking really. I want him to be able to run and jump and go crazy like every other two-year-old. We are really lucky that the teachers at his MDO program have been so understanding and wonderful. They help limit him while he's there and communicate so well with me about symptoms they observe. We are pretty much convinced he does have inflammation in his fingers because he really doesn't like washing his hands in cold water and he seems to be having trouble holding his fork/spoon. After researching JA I'm starting to accept that might be what he has. I'm also concerned that it might be affecting his jaw. He's had trouble chewing and taking bites for a long time and I never really knew what to make of it. I thought he was just impatient and wanted to cram the food in his mouth as quickly as possible.... now I'm thinking it's probably something more. Why didn't I bring it up to the pediatrician before? Ugh. I realize I really couldn't have known and maybe they wouldn't have found anything even if I had brought it up but it's like they always say: "hindsight is 20/20". All of his symptoms seem to come together so clearly now. It makes me feel like I failed him somehow....
My goal for the next week is to go to Florida for Spring Break and have a great time as a family. My guilt, anxiety, and worrying will not dampen our vacation!
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